“No one else cares about ____” is a self-defeating lie.
You aren’t unique in your desires and that’s great! That’s essential to your victory
SEP 14, 2023
Common refrains from frustrated individuals who are on the cusp of becoming great activists are, “no one else cares about (thing they are working on),” “I’m the only one in my area who cares about (thing they are working on),” or “why does no one care about (thing)!?!” It’s often paired with its cousin of “why is no one in the media writing about (thing they only know about because of an article they saw)?” and “politicians don’t care about (thing).”
These statements come from a place of deep frustration and isolation. I get it, it can be incredibly hard feeling like what you want is impossibly far away. The sadness or anger that accompany that feeling make it easy to think and speak in sweeping generalizations. This often drives people to use words like “always” “never” “only” “everyone” or “no one” that erase important nuances of reality. It’s a hard place to be in and I feel for folks when they make statements like that. I’ve worked on some pretty obscure issues and have been there. So, when I say this, I want to be clear that I say this with love and compassion to the frustrated people out there: You are wrong and that attitude is holding you back.
The world is filled with people who care, and you aren’t unique in caring about whatever it is you care about. It might not be as high of a priority for others as it is for you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. They could also care just as much as you do, but they show it in different ways. Who cares more about a patient’s wellbeing? The brusque surgeon with the steady hand calmly performing the life-saving surgery or the friend wailing inconsolably in the other room?
People care about community, freedom, options, money, themselves, and a wide range of other things. But people are also extremely stressed and busy – most Americans don’t have $400 to cover an emergency. Why should they spend time or money thinking about your thing? Just because a person is busy it doesn’t mean they don’t care. It means they have higher priorities. It’s on you to get your thing to be high enough of a priority that others take action on it.
There is a huge difference between having your issue not on someone’s priority list at all vs. it being very low on the list. Moving your issue up the priority list requires different strategies, messaging, and tactics than putting your issue on the priority list. When you attack people who do care, and you falsely say “they don’t care,” you drive them away. They care and they know they care. You don’t get to decide whether or not someone cares about something. Attacking them for something they know is false (that they don’t care) just diminishes you in their eyes.
Instead – help empower them to take action based on their care. Communicate about the issue you care about in a way that aligns with their values and connects to the other things they care about. People want to be safe, and they want convenience. Get them on board with your effort to fund transit by connecting with their values first.
People value safety and if you want a network of protected bike lanes in your community, you need to first connect with people on that value. If you think no one else but you cares about protected bike lanes in your community – make a petition calling for “more protected bike lanes in our community”, print it out, go talk to everyone in your community and ask them to sign it. Make it easy for people to do something with their care and you’ll see that more people care than you might think.
And yes, “more protected bike lanes in our community” is pretty general language. If you think you’re alone, step 1 is to get people on board with the general shared values. You can build from there. Plus getting a few hundred or even a few thousand people to sign on to that vision makes it easier to get politicians to make progress towards that vision.
It’s your responsibility to get people to take action, so give them an action that they can take. Maybe you want to organize a die-in to advocate for more protected bike lanes and “no one” else wants to do it with you. That doesn’t mean no one cares about making the community a safer place to bike, it means YOU need to find a different (and probably easier) action to ask people to take. A petition isn’t as dramatic or as “sexy” as a big political stunt, but it is a way to gather the people who care and it helps you start to ratchet up engagement. If you think no one else cares, lower the bar for action and make it easier for people to take action.
Because in politics, it’s action that matters, not care. To win what you want, you need people to take action. You need people to sign the petition or call the decision-maker– you don’t need the people to just say “hey I support you but don’t sign petitions.” You want the decision maker to take action to solve the problem and not just give “thoughts and prayers.”
So, yes, sometimes it might feel like you’re the only one who cares about your issue – but who cares if they care or not? The important thing is to get people to take meaningful action. If you really care about that thing, then it’s on you to roll up your sleeves and do the real work of making it easy for others to take action and getting them to do it. Translate your care into meaningful action and make it easy for other to do the same and you’ll find you aren’t nearly as alone as you think.
Want help improving your skills and strategies for winning bike, transit, or pedestrian safety improvements in your community, let me know! I provide 1-on-1 training sessions and group workshops. Let’s talk. Email me at Carter@carterlavin.com to set something up.